


Collateral damage

by sweetorangeginger



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Angst, F/M, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, S03e16 Blood Fever AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-20
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:48:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21873226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetorangeginger/pseuds/sweetorangeginger
Summary: Captain Janeway knows her Chief of Security made the right decision, considering the circumstances. But, in this case, nothing is black or white. And now they all must face the consequences.
Comments: 10
Kudos: 33





	1. Chapter 1

“You did what?!”

Captain Janeway is pacing to and fro in her ready room. Even having the whole situation laid in front of her, she is finding it hard to understand how it could have come to this.

“It was the only logical choice, captain” her Security officer explains. “Lieutenant Torres would have died if she didn’t mate with someone there and then.”

“Yes, Tuvok, I know that. But to give an order? Wasn’t there anyone who could do it voluntarily?”

She knows it sounds crazy as soon as the words are out of her mouth. Who could it be? Tuvok – out of the question. Chakotay – Kathryn can’t imagine him and B’Elanna. Vorik came too late but he wouldn’t stand a chance, B’Elanna despises him after what he’d done to her.

“Lieutenant Torres made it clear she didn’t want anyone else than Lieutenant Paris. I had no choice than to order him to comply with her wish.”

Kathryn Janeway easies herself down onto a chair, hiding her head in her hands. Deep down she knows Tuvok’s right. Or sort of right. Choosing the one to sacrifice is easy when you know what is at stake. Life or a traumatic experience, take your pick, a no-win scenario. If you’re really unlucky you will have two traumatic experiences and two officers refusing to work along each other for the rest of this trip, for the rest of their lives, if it comes to this. You can have one of them accusing the other of rape, or at least taking advantage. But it’s still better than one of the officers dying.

“How did he react?” She looks up at Tuvok, fearing the answer.

“He did question my order at first. I had to repeat it. He complied then.”

Knowing she won’t get any more useful information from The Security Officer, captain Janeway dismisses him and calls Chakotay in to her ready room. He was on the planet as well, she needs to have all the facts before she can even think of speaking to Tom.

“The situation was bizarre, I admit. Tuvok approached Lieutenant Paris by himself, I can only guess he knew I would oppose. As much as I respect him, I don’t think he should have been involved in this kind of decisions. It’s no secret he lacks the understanding for the human nature” Chakotay is saying.

“How did Tom seem to you? You must have seen him before…”

“Before B’Elanna dragged him away, you mean?” Chakotay pauses for a moment and Kathryn wonders if he is about to tell her the whole truth. Or is he trying to give her a slightly lighter version of the events?

“It’s Paris we’re talking about. I wouldn’t be much concerned about him. I’m more worried about Lieutenant Torres.”

“No, we take one thing at a time. I know you still don’t trust Lieutenant Paris, I am aware about the animosity between the two of you. But in this case, you must understand that I can’t leave it like this.”

“What are you planning to do?”

“I don’t know.” She really doesn’t. She’s no trained counsellor, there isn’t one on the ship at all and that’s the thing that worries Kathryn most. Chakotay has been taking the role from time to time but, somehow, this time it may not be the best idea. Tom would never open up to Chakotay. B’Elanna might, the possibility not being extremely big but it’s there. Tom, on the other hand, who could he talk to?

“I just want to know how upset he was, Chakotay. He must have been, he refused to follow Tuvok’s order initially.”

“Well, he seemed more resigned than upset, if I’m to be honest with you. That’s why I don’t think…”

“I am concerned about the morale of every single one of the members on this ship, I didn’t think I would have to explain this to you. And that means Tom’s, B’Elanna’s and ensign Vorik’s as well. All of them will need counselling, Commander. And since it’s up to me and you to find a solution to this problem, I propose you’ll talk to ensign Vorik while I’ll take Tom and B’Elanna. I’m not sure any of them would like to talk to any of us, but it’s the best we can do in the current situation.”

The light in the sickbay is dim, easy on the eyes. Kathryn Janeway steps in, steering towards the biobed in the far corner of the room.

“Hello, Lieutenant’ she says softly. ‘How are you feeling?”

He doesn’t answer at once, instead he stares at the ceiling.

“Tom?”

A sharp intake of breath and then: “I’m fine.”

She knows he isn’t though. The broken ribs and his broken nose already tended to by the doctor but, judging by his body language, there is so much more to fix when it comes to the man in front of her.

“Are you really?”

“How would you react if our roles were reversed? If it was me needing the assistance? Would you sacrifice B’Elanna?”

It’s a question she has been dreading. There is no easy answer, she knows he knows it too.

“I didn’t sacrifice you, Lieutenant.”

“You let her…” he avoids looking at her. “I can’t even…”

It doesn’t escape Janeway that Tom is still deeply shaken by what happened just few hours ago. He sees it as rape, she hoped it wouldn’t be so, but the sole fact is that he didn’t engage in sex with lieutenant Torres voluntarily. Tuvok gave him no choice, as a matter of fact – the only way of saving B’Elanna’s life was to mate with her. There and then. And Kathryn knows that Tom would never hesitate to do this, it was not the act itself, it was how the whole matter was presented to him. Do it, it’s an order. Do it or you’ll end up in the brig.

“How would you call it if I was a woman? Would you even consider asking?” He seems to have regained his composure a little, Janeway is glad to see that. She’d rather have him angry than resigned and retracted into himself.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, she stares at the floor. Damn for not having any kind of counselling training. Having no children, she can’t lean on any motherhood experience either. She’ll have to improvise, hoping she won’t cause any more damage.

“You saved B’Elanna’s life, Tom. Even if you were reluctant to do it, even if it didn’t feel right, you did it anyway. And that’s what counts. I am truly sorry it had to come to this, you making a sacrifice. And I understand you are upset.”

He snorts, still not looking at her.

“And to answer your question: no, I wouldn’t. I would never order anyone to engage in a sexual act against their will, no matter what was at stake. I would talk to the person in question though, and try to convince them, if the situation was extreme. In this case, it was extreme. It demanded an extreme action. Having said that, I think it was wrong of Tuvok to order you to have sex with Lieutenant. Torres. But Tuvok acted according to the knowledge and experience he has. I’m sorry again, Tom. This is a mess, you and B’Elanna caught in the middle of it. Now, we will have to make the best of it.”

Tom laughs cynically at her. “Yeah, easy for you to say it, ma’am” his “ma’am” sounding like an insult. “I am trying to make a good life on this ship. I have worked hard to gain some sort of respect from the rest of the crew. And now… and now they will all think it was me taking advantage of B… Lieutenant Torres. And before you say something, I know how it works. So spare me the talk.”

How is she supposed to address this? He’s right, she knows the events on the planet are already an object of discussions and speculations, how the hell did the info spread so fast and who’s to blame, she can’t understand. Tuvok and Chakotay are above suspicion, B’Elanna has been in her quarters after being released from Sickbay, the only one left is ensign Vorik. He came to the surface just as B’Elanna let go of Tom, according to the information Tuvok has given her. Vorik was upset but now, after the doctor has managed to treat him, there he should not hold a grudge against Tom for “taking his mate away from him”, as he called it on the planet. But maybe it goes deeper than that, hopefully Chakotay can clear the matter with the ensign. Hopefully he’s in better luck than she herself.

“Tom...” she starts but is interrupted as he pushes himself up from the bed and heads for the door. “Where are you going? Have you been cleared to leave by the doctor?”

“I wish to retire to my quarters now. The doctor has cleared me, yes.”

She knows he’s lying but she lets him go. There is nothing more she can do about it now. The outcome of the conversation is not what she has hoped for and Kathryn can only wish it will go easier to talk to B’Elanna.


	2. Chapter 2

“See, he’s sitting there, looking all smug.”

“Yeah, such an opportunity, he must have waited for something like this.”

“But taking advantage like that, it’s disgusting!”

“He doesn’t have any moral brakes. He’s proven it over and over again.”

“I really don’t understand why the Captain is giving him so many chances.”

“I don’t understand how he even dares showing his face here!”

There are two of them talking, they must be sitting not so far away from Tom, as he hears every uttered word. It’s not even like they are trying to be very discreet. Fuck them, Tom thinks, taking another spoonful of the soup that Neelix has put in front of him. It tastes like a gone off curry but apparently, it’s nutritious and that’s what Tom needs right now. He is supposed to get back on duty tomorrow, having just been declared fit by the Doctor. There is nothing he needs more than to occupy his mind with something else than the dark thoughts that are swirling in his head.

There is some shuffling behind him and before long, a third voice joins the other two.

“It’s bullshit, what you’re saying. I heard that he didn’t want to help at all, refused even when Torres’ life was in danger. He should be court-martialled for this, that’s what I think!”

“No, he forced himself on Lieutenant Torres when she wasn’t in any state to say no!”

“Shhh, he’ll hear you!”

Yeah, as if they cared. Losing his appetite completely, Tom puts the spoon down and gathers his belongings, wanting to leave the Mess hall as soon as possible. He will have to rely on the saved replicator rations for the forthcoming weeks. Hopefully, they will soon find something else to talk about, because if this is going to last much longer…

…Well, he can’t stay on Voyager then. And where would he go instead? Where else would he go, seventy thousand lightyears from home? It’s not like he can request to be transferred to another ship. It’s not like he can request anything, really, he is totally powerless. And, god, it scares the shit out of him. These people are supposed to be his extended family. That’s what the Captain thinks, they all are supposed to be one big family, consolidated and supportive. The depend on each other to survive and to get home. But, as it sounds now, they’d be happy to shoot him out of the nearest airlock.

He pushes the chair a little to quickly as he gets up and it ends up toppling onto the floor with a heavy thud. Suddenly, all eyes are upon him. Good job, Tommy boy, he curses himself silently as he heads towards the door. Now, his heart is pounding wildly, even more so because of the voices shouting after him. Luckily, no one follows. The very last thing Tom needs is to get involved in a fight with one of the other crewmembers, as he is painfully aware that he would certainly be alone against at least five of them.

The sense of dread overcomes him just after a few steps towards the turbolift. He increases his pace, eager to get to the safety of his quarters as soon as possible, but it feels like he is not moving at all. A thought of a space distortion crosses his mind, but deep down he knows this must be a panic attack. He’s had a couple of those after Caldik Prime, so he knows it would eventually pass. And even if it feels like he will have a heart attack anytime soon, he won’t die of it. He knows it.

The knowledge doesn’t help a bit.

Because if someone from the Mess Hall finds him now, he’s screwed. Which only adds to the overcoming sense of dizziness. Don’t think about it now, it’s not helping. But the more he’s angry with himself, the worse the dizziness gets.

To add to his misery, the floor suddenly seems to be made of cotton, he can’t feel it underneath his feet. No matter how hard he wants it, Tom won’t even make it to the turbolift now, no chance in hell. Chest tightening with every passing second, it’s getting hard to stand upright, and he’s got no choice but to sink down onto the floor. He could really do with a friend now. Harry’s on the Gamma shift, but there isn’t really anyone else, not anymore. Praying Harry isn’t doing anything important just in this moment, Tom fumbles with shaking fingers for his combadge, not understanding why it’s not in its place.

Fuck.

It must be in his quarters, still attached to the uniform.

Fuck.

Lifting his head, Tom sees a shadow in front of him. There is silhouette approaching, but in his current state, he can’t focus hard enough to make out who this might be.

Please, let it be someone with friendly intentions.

Well, it’s take it or leave it, no other options here, as he needs assistance. So, Tom tries to call out, but there is only a faint whimper escaping his lips. How humiliating will it get, he doesn’t whimper, for heaven’s sake! Whoever it is, the person is moving towards him and in a few seconds is kneeling beside him.

“Tom? What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

There are hands on his back, stroking it up and down in a soothing movement, reminding him of his mother soothing him when he was a child. Up and down, up and down, he’s trying to match his breathing to the movement, but fails as his chest constricts painfully again. He can’t do it, he can’t breathe, let alone answer the questions. What is he going to say anyway, isn’t it obvious that he is not okay?

“Tom, look at me.”

_“Tom! Look at me!” B’Elanna grabs him by his chin, her fingers strong, bruising his skin mercilessly. “You’re supposed to enjoy yourself, show me you’re enjoying yourself!”_

_“I am.”_

_“Then show me.” She tears the top of his climbing suit apart and, giving him no time to prepare, throws him onto the ground with a force the presses the air out of his lungs and makes the stars dance in front of his eyes. He needs to get a grip on himself, the sooner this is over the better. He is a Starfleet Officer following an order, he reminds himself, this is his duty. No going back, nowhere to go back to if he walks away now._

There is a black hole forming in front of him, ready to swallow him whole. Of all people on the ship, of all the fucking people, it’s B’Elanna finding him. He tries to crawl away, but his muscles won’t work, he’s stuck with her once again. She must have seen the terror in his eyes as she backs away, tapping her combadge.

“Torres to Sickbay” Tom hears her say. He tries to protest, no Sickbay, he’ll be taken off duty again. But she’s not listening, already talking to the Doctor.

“Lieutenant Paris needs medical attention, can you lock onto his coordinates and beam him to Sickbay?”

Nothing happens and Tom hears B’Elanna argue with the Doctor. In the end, she crouches next to him and before Tom has any chance to react, they both end up on the Sickbay floor. 


	3. Chapter 3

“Why did you hit ensign Mendez, B’Elanna?”

“He was insinuating certain things.”

“What things?”

B’Elanna is upset... no, not upset, furious more like. Captain Janeway is looking at her across the table, not sure what kind of approach is the best in this case either.

“As if you didn’t know.” About me... and T... Lieutenant Paris.”

“What was he insinuating?”

“That Lieutenant Paris took advantage. As if I’d ever let him! And he might be a pig but not this sort of a pig.”

“You were defending his honour?”

“If you want to put it that way...”

The wheel having been set in motion, there are all kinds of rumours going around the ship. Tuvok has managed to identify the persons behind it, and to captain Janeway’s relief it’s not Vorik. It shouldn’t come as a surprise, since the ensign is a Vulcan and is not the first you would accuse of holding a grudge. Furthermore, according to Chakotay, Vorik has shown signs of remorse and has apologised for his behaviour. He will never admit it, but he seems ashamed, otherwise there is nothing more that needs to be done for him.

The two members of the medical transport team that are guilty of starting the gossip have been dealt with, and Kathryn can only hope they understand the gravity of the situation. She herself is well aware that on a small ship, far away from home, there is no place for such behaviour. She can’t help but wonder if she is doing enough for her crew. It becomes even more palpable now, when B’Elanna is standing proudly in front of her, not the least apologetic about the fight she’s just caused in the Mess Hall.

The two of them has already talked through the recent events. Surprisingly, B’Elanna seemed almost reasonable about the whole situation, most bothered by the fact that Tom had to be ordered to help her, instead of doing it of his own free will. Asked how she would do under similar circumstances, The Chief Engineer refused to answer. Captain Janeway suspects something had been going on between Lieutenants Paris and Torres prior to this fateful expedition, recalling Chakotay’s words that B’Elanna didn’t want anyone else than Tom. Well, whatever it is or was, it’s not a problem that she’s got time dealing with now.

“You have to help me here, Lieutenant” Janeway knows she needs to choose her words carefully, but she can’t tiptoe around this either. “Give me a reason not to demote you for hitting a fellow crewmember. One reason.”

“It’s him that should be punished! For insulting two officers. He should be standing here, in front of you and be ashamed! Not me!”

“You know as well as I do that this won’t do.”

B’Elanna sits down, but can’t hold still, her fingers tapping rhythmically on the table. “It all comes back, you know? Every minute of it.”

“I know we’ve already talked about this, and I recall very well what you said, but I don’t think you are coping well, B’Elanna. I’m speaking to you as a friend now… I understand it is tough on you, but you can’t go on hitting people because they say the wrong thing. You are ensign Mendez’ superior officer, what would you say If I hit you after you’ve insulted me?”

The question is met by silence from the half Klingon. Captain Janeway feels like she’s hitting a wall here as well, it seems that whatever she says or does it’s not enough and the focus is laid on the wrong things. She is well aware that, if this matter isn’t resolved soon, it will undoubtedly lead to serious consequences.

“You said it all comes back to you, what did you mean?”

Luckily, B’Elanna decides to talk. The words that come out in the next minutes prove to the Captain that there still is the mutual trust between her and the woman in front of her.

“I thought that when Tom… when he came to me and said we were about to mate, I thought he’d just changed his mind. But then I looked at him and, even if my judgement was impaired, even if I was purely driven by desire, and my body wanted nothing more than to have him there and then, somewhere in the back of my mind I sensed that something wasn’t right. But I disregarded this feeling. Now, I know I wouldn’t be able to resist the urge, but I managed to convince myself that he wanted to do it, that maybe he was only a bit unsure how to… well, you know, with the Klingon part of me… And then, when it was all over, I…. I looked at him, I was so relieved and thought that this went well… and I looked at him and all I saw disgust. Not towards me but towards himself. I asked him why and he told me about Tuvok ordering him to have sex with me. It made me so angry that I lashed out at Tom. It wasn’t his fault, I know, but in this very moment, I was so angry he had to be ordered! I’d practically forced myself on him and all I felt, was rage towards him! For not complying in the first place, even though it was my life and my sanity on the line. Mine. One of his closest friends!”

She pauses, taking a deep breath. “I was still mad at him when I talked to you the last time. But,” there comes a soft chuckle “even I do calm down, eventually. And when I did, I saw this from a whole different perspective. From his perspective. He only tried to do the right thing. Tom could hardly stand after I was done with him. Mendez, this sneaky bastard should be happy I could contain myself somehow, otherwise this would have ended with more than a broken nose! You should have heard half of what I did hear in the Mess Hall!”

“All right, all right. I understand your point of view, I do. I can’t just let go of this, though. Wait” The captain raises her hand as she sees B’Elanna is trying to protest. “You will apologise to ensign Mendez. He and the other two you caught gossiping will apologise to you and Lieutenant Paris. I will call all the senior staff to a meeting later today where we will discuss how to resolve the aftershocks this whole matter has caused. Now, I need to speak with Tom, if you excuse me.”

A full-blown argument between Tom, Chakotay and Tuvok, with the EMH caught in the middle of it, is not what the Captain is expecting upon entering the Sickbay.

“I haven’t done anything!” Tom is screaming, hands curled up in fists. He’s sitting on the edge of the biobed, looking at the two silhouettes in front of him with unsurpassed anger.

“I know that, Tom” Chakotay is trying to sound soothingly.

“Then why are you punishing me?!”

“No one is punishing you. Take it easy, okay?”

“What would you call it, then?”

“We are merely concerned about your safety, Lieutenant” Tuvok points out. It seems like his calm demeanour is making Tom even more angry.

“Huh? Protect me? You didn’t give a damn about me last time I checked! You didn’t even blink ordering me to have sex against my will, knowing what the consequences would be. And now you’re concerned? Bullshit!” The pilot is standing now, so close to the Commander their noses almost meet.

Kathryn steps in between the two officers, not really knowing what the argument is about but sure as hell she needs to stop it before it blows out of proportion. “Gentlemen, what’s going on here?”

“The Commander is confining Lieutenant Paris to his quarters” the doctor explains, loading a hypo spray. “Oh, this is just in case one of them becomes violent” he half jokes, half threatens.

“It is for the Lieutenant’s own safety. And I’m not confining him, I’m just trying to make him understand it’s better if he keeps a low profile for a while” Chakotay echoes Tuvok’s statement, looking at the Captain in search of an approval. “Until we have cleared the matter and found the ones that are guilty of the verbal abuse he’s been subjected to.”

“And if you don’t find them? Will you have me locked up for the rest of the journey? I’m out of everyone’s sight and the problem is solved, is this how you want it, Commander?!” Tom is fuming, his whole frame is shaking.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Lieutenant!”

“I still haven’t got o chance to examine Lieutenant Paris properly” the EMH is trying to push Tom back onto the biobed, meeting a fair dose of resistance.

“I am fine, how many times do I have to tell you this?! And get your hands off me!”

“Calm down, all of you” the Captain cuts in. “Tom, lay down, that’s an order. Let the good doctor do his job. Chakotay, Tuvok, come with me to the doctor’s office, we need to talk.”


End file.
